Tesla Motors Executives Are Believed Dead in Plane Crash

Dear Diary,

Today, after a competitor reported that there had been a plane crash, I thought I would try “breaking news.” I remember hearing all about it in my overpriced grad-school classes from somebody who stopped being a journalist so they could work in academia.

I thought about hitting the phones, calling up all the sources I could think of, while listening with one ear to the scanner. I considered heading out to the scene of the accident or perhaps to the headquarters of the company that reportedly employed the victims.

But then I thought, fuck it. Other reporters are already doing that, so why don’t I go ahead and just rip off their work and put my name on it.

Three executives of Tesla Motors, the electric car company, are believed to be dead after the small plane they were in crashed in East Palo Alto, Calif., shortly after taking off in thick fog Wednesday morning, according to the car Web site Jalopnik, which said it received confirmation from a Tesla representative.

That’s right, from the car Web site Jalopnik.

At about 7:55 a.m., the twin-engine Cessna 310, which took off from Palo Alto Airport heading for Los Angeles County’s Hawthorne Municipal Airport, crashed into a residential neighborhood in East Palo Alto and might have caused widespread power outages. The plane was believed to be owned by Doug Bourn, a senior electrical engineer for Tesla Motors, a spokesperson with the company told a newspaper against which I was hired to compete.

Read more unconscionably fake journalism …


%d bloggers like this: